random (probably) heretical musings

So I've been thinking about God and souls and nature a lot since I've come to Wyoming. Living at the base of the Tetons, among the animals and forests and fields, reminds me just how small and insignificant I am. This place--nature--does not need me. My efforts aren't required to keep this place going, to keep nature in existence--not in a good way or a bad way, just in a factual way: I am not necessary for this place to remain.

I don't think God is as black and white as we like to think. We like to define things, but defining God makes Him smaller, makes Him understandable. Humans will never understand God. We live in the gray areas, life isn't black and white, so I don't think God really is either. I believe He is a good Being, but all the wars and murders ordered by Him in the Old Testament make me think we don't have a complete definition of the word 'good'. And things written as rules for the biblical culture have changed a lot too--Mary was 14 when she married Joseph and that's against the law today; it was acceptable to rape a girl as long as you married her afterwards then, and that's not acceptable now. I don't think God is what we say He is, not completely.

I don't think humans are the only beings with souls. I think animals have souls, and nature, too. Trees and mountains and animals and plants and stones--I think they all have souls, I think they all matter intimately to God. I think He gave us a living, breathing playground to exist with, and He wanted humans and nature to benefit from and enjoy each other. But humans and nature are at war because of sin--the relationship with Eden was destroyed when we were exiled. I think God is both a higher Being and an Earth Mother--It's bigger than our definitions can describe.
I wonder if every single person's opinion or idea about God/a Higher Being/Mother Guia/the Universe is right. We all have different views of a higher being or power, but maybe we've just all been given a different perspective of the same Thing. Like together, we know what It is, but we won't understand It until we understand each other. To understand It, we have to be in community. We have to understand and listen to our neighbor before we can see It. Not just humans in harmony with each other, but in harmony with nature, too. And until that ultimate harmony happens, this whole God thing is inaccessible.